Can't Sleep

He Swims!


It happened again this past Saturday: At a gathering of Arizonans I brought up the topic of teaching toddlers to swim, only to have a native say, “My dad taught me to swim by just throwing me into 5 feet of water and waiting for me to figure it out!”

What is it with these people?

If you remember your dad throwing you into deep water, you were at least – at least! – twice as old as many kids that drown in backyard swimming pools. Which means your dad is to be commended, not for teaching you to swim (which, when you think about it, he didn’t really do), but for somehow keeping you from drowning yourself for at least 5 years.

Anyway, the Boy Swims. I saw him do it that very Saturday afternoon, which is why I brought up the topic of kids and swimming at all.

He’s no expert, that’s for sure. But the number of scenarios in which he’d be certain to drown has been reduced by at least one, maybe 5. He’s still forbidden from swimming alone, and will be til he’s like, 30. But progress has been made.

I bought a cigar and smoked it in celebration.

It’s Summer, killing season for children who can’t swim. If yours can’t, keep them out of swimming pools, or be right there and vigilant when they’re in water of any depth. Fence the pool. Lock the gate so neighborhood kids don’t jump in when you’re not around.


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